Blackface for Halloween???

So just now (literally a few minutes ago) I was browsing another blog showing celebrities in their Halloween costumes and one person was dressed as be Jay-Z. Now, in all honesty, I've never heard the name of the person before so I don't know the his nationality but the blogger pointed out that this man was in blackface for the occasion. In that case, it's likely this person is white or possibly Hispanic. And sorry, I don't remember his name nor do I care enough to look it up. The writer of the blog gave a side eye for being in blackface. In the comments section of the blog some posters stated that no one had a problem when a black athlete was Justin Timberlake for Halloween and painted his face white and that black people were "too sensitive" which lead me to write this post.

If blacks in this country didn't have the history that we have, I could totally understand such a statement, but we do so I can't. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but back in the day white people would dress in blackface basically to make fun of blacks for minstrel shows and what not. They would either portray a black person as being a complete fool or some savage beast. Birth of a Nation anyone? So yes, because of this I can totally understand why black people would be sensitive when it comes to white people dressing in blackface, even if it is just for Halloween. I'm sure the intention isn't to be hurtful and it's all in good fun but, still. Something about it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Why not have me and a white friend dress up as slave and master? Okay, maybe that's extreme but you get the point.

Personally, I'm only slightly offended. Like, if I saw that in real life I would definitely give that person the ultimate side eye and curse them under my breath, but it wouldn't ruin my night. In a similar situation, while I was out with my friend over the weekend (an Asian girl if it matters), she pointed out that she didn't like one girl's Native American costume because she didn't feel that people should dress up as someone's nationality for Halloween. To be honest, I never thought that deeply about it but I can see where she's coming from. I know it's not exactly the same but like I said, similar.

Anyway, what do you think? Are some black people just being too sensitive? Are others not being sensitive enough? Maybe they're reading too much into it and making a big deal out of nothing. Or maybe they're not making a big enough deal out of it. I suppose it's something you can look at both ways.

Dump Your Friends???

This post was inspired by a rerun of Girlfriends I was watching the other day. In the episode Maya told the girls that she couldn't hang with them anymore because her husband Darnell told/asked her not to. It made me wonder if most people would actually stop being friends with someone just because your significant other told you not to. At this point, I don't think I would drop my friends just because some guy told  me to. Like, who the hell are you to tell me who my friends should be?

I think some of it depends on the nature of your relationship. For example, there's a big difference between a boyfriend/girlfriend making such a request compared to a husband/wife. I think most people would me more likely to agree to drop their friends if a spouse was asking instead of just a bf/gf. And I suppose it would also be dependent on the reasoning behind the request. Even still, I'm not sure if I could do it. I mean, they're MY friends, it's not like you have to be around them all the time.

On the other hand, if we're talking about opposite sex friends that might be a different story. Sure, she might JUST be a friend that you've lived next door to since kindergarten but I'll be damned if y'all are gonna be having private dinners that I don't know about. It's difficult because I believe that females can be JUST FRIENDS with guys but I'm not sure that guys can do the same with females. If that makes any sense. I don't know, I suppose it's a sticky situation all around.

Personally, I've been on the opposite side of this situation. There was one point when my friend's (now ex) boyfriend decided he was no longer a fan of mine and every time she and I would hang out it was always a problem. Before I get into details let me give a bit of back story: The whole problem started with the Myspace top 8 (stupid I know). My friend had me at #1 then put her bf at #1 when they started going out. I made a JOKE on her page saying something along the lines of "how dare you replace me with that man...lol" or something to that affect. I was obviously joking but he didn't take it that way. He claimed that I was disrespecting their relationship and that he didn't like me anymore. Boo freaking hoo! According to my friend from that point on whenever she told him she was hanging out with me there would always be a face or a disappointed sigh. Spare me. The real crazy part is that he was actually trying to get his sister to fight me at one point. Are you fucking kidding?! She and I were at a diner one night after partying when he called and he asked her would it be wrong if he told his sister to come down there. Really sir? -_-

The thing is, aside from his bipolar mood swings, I NEVER had a problem with him.When he wasn't having a mood swing he was cool people, so for him to just flip flop over a joke about a Myspace top 8 is just outrageous. As far as I know he never actually told her to stop being friends with me but you get the idea. In any case, I'm pretty sure I would never drop my friends for a boyfriend. Husband? I'd consider it but I don't know.

What do you think?

Open Relationships: Yay or Nay?

The other day over on Necole Bitchie's blog there was a big discussion about open relationships after she posted something about Jill Scott's and Chilli's thoughts on the subject. There were several other celebrities whose opinions were listed as well as a number of readers. This made me start to think about my feelings on the subject. To be honest, I have no desire to ever be in an open relationship, especially if that relationship is an actual marriage. I just don't see the point in being with someone with the understanding that stepping out of the relationship is okay.

I suppose the arguments in favor of open relationships can be viewed as relevant but I still disagree. One argument in favor of open relationships mentioned that even if you're with one person you can still be attracted to someone else, which I agree with. Just because you're committed to and in love with one person doesn't automatically make you dead to the rest of the world. However, that doesn't mean that you should act on it.

I personally feel that there's no point in having an open relationship, marriage in particular. I mean, what's the point of getting married if you're still gonna see/hook-up/sleep with other people outside the relationship. You may as well not even get married. I guess the big difference is that your partner knows what's going on but still. That wouldn't give me much comfort. It sounds like dating to me. There's a few people you like, maybe one more than others, but you're keeping your options open. To me that's not what a relationship is about. I feel like if you're gonna marry someone that person should be enough. Period. Sure you'll always find other people attractive and there's nothing wrong with that, but have some self control. Is it really THAT difficult? I don't think so.

Anyway, that's just my two cents. Do what you want, it's your life.

That's all for now.

Adopt a Kid or Have One the Old Fashioned Way?

Let me start by saying I am not in the market for a kid at the moment. It's the absolute WRONG time in my life. But with so many of my Facebook friends getting engaged, married and having babies the whole kid thing has really been on my mind a lot lately. And in case you're wondering, I'm 24. I really think this quarter life crisis thing is starting to get to me. I guess with graduation coming up next year I'm thinking a lot about my future and what I want to do with my life and what kind of time frame I'm looking at and for some reason I just can't get babies off my brain. Scary stuff huh?

Now on to the subject at hand.

I was just thinking about this because I remember hearing somewhere (possibly on an episode of Law & Order) that it was selfish to have kid when there's all these kids already out in the world who need homes. And on the one hand I totally get that and it makes perfect sense. I think a lot of people want to have kids so that they can pass on their genetic material to the next person and they can have someone that's literally a part of them. Not saying that's the only reason but I think that's a large part of it. Just being able to look at this kid and say "hey, I helped make that."

For me personally, I just feel like actually being pregnant and having a child is something that I really want to experience (as painful as it is). But no time soon of course. I have it stuck in my mind that I'm gonna have a little girl and name her Jordan.....with my luck I'll end up with all boys. Then there's the adoption thing. Would I at least consider it? Absolutely. But to be honest I would like to have at least one kid of my own. Maybe I can adopt one or two after I have my Jordan lol. But of course I'll have to graduate, find a job, a husband and a place to live first.....husband optional but that would be the ideal situation. Why you ask? Because I want to have a kid and if I sit around too long waiting for a husband in order to have a kid my eggs might be dried up by the time I find one then it'll be too late. I guess that's what sperm banks are for.

Anyway, just wondering what other people think. Is it selfish to have a biological child when there are already millions of parent-less kids out in the world just looking for a home? I don't. I think it's only natural for someone to want to have their own biological child but I can certainly see the argument for both sides.

What do you think?

Why Do You Care?

After seeing several people on twitter and other social networking sites basically begging for acceptance from their internet friends it made me wonder, why do they care? I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would care about some random person's opinion of them. Especially when they only contact you've ever had or probably will ever have with that person is via the internet. Yes, we're "friends" on Twitter because we obviously share some common interests and we're interested in what each other has to say but that's as far as it goes. I'm not really interested in all the ins and outs of your life, nor do I feel the need to tell you mine.

Some of these people just seem to have really low self-esteem and are borderline depressed and I guess just looking for some type of validation of their life. For example, one of my followers on Twitter is constantly talking about how if he deleted his account no one would care and he's always begging for people to text with him because he's bored and what not. Then just recently he said he thinks he's bipolar. This might sound harsh but call a fucking therapist and get over it. I don't go on twitter to hear about how miserable and depressed you feel. Furthermore, I don't understand why you care so much about what all of these internet faces think of you. Is your situation in real life so terrible that your internet friends are the only ones you feel you can count on? If so, that's really sad and you might want to do something about that.

I guess if a lot of people are like this I can see how internet bullying can lead to kids wanting to hurt themselves which is even more sad. I don't know, I guess I just feel like the internet and social networking sites just aren't the place for all that drama. Why not go to a support group or something and make some REAL friends?

I'm Inspired!!!

While reading another blog over on Wordpress, a quote from the author of the blog really inspired me:

"I think it’s absolute ludicrous to NOT do something just because you don’t have a companion. You will waste your whole life waiting on others to agree to do what YOU want. Makes no sense."

I swear this totally speaks to my life. So many times I don't do things or I end up altering the things I want to do just because my friends don't want to do them with me or I feel like I have to appease them. What the hell was I thinking?!?! There are a few things out there that I just feel aren't any fun to do without a companion like going to an amusement park, but so many other things I could do on my own and be just fine. There's no reason in the world for me not to do something I really want to do just because I can't get anyone to do it with me. Screw that. I need to live my own life and live it for myself.

It's gonna take baby steps but it's gonna be worth it in the end and much more fulfilling when I get to do all the things I want to do. My first mission: Go to the movies alone (I know it's not much but I'm trying okay, geez). 

Thanks to Dash of Reality for that reality check. I SO needed that in my life right now.

I'm Back...

Not that I ever really left. But by back I mean back at school. To be honest I didn't really miss being in Philly at all and I can't wait to go home. It's not like I have many friends left here anyway. Most of them moved away after they graduated. Classes start tomorrow and I'm already dredding everything about this week. Not to mention that I have no cable or internet until Friday (I'm typing this in the computer lab). And of course I still don't have a roommate....ugh. Hopefully someone will be moving in soon but it's taking entirely too long to find someone so it's really stressful.

In addition to that nonsense, it looks like I may need to take yet another class in order to graduate. This wouldn't be annoying if I hadn't been told before that I did NOT need this particular class. Even then I could deal with it but of course the class doesn't fit in with my nursing schedule. Color me surprised :/. I don't know why but I feel like it's always one step forward, two steps back for me. Maybe I need a vision board or something to put some positive thoughts out into the universe for myself. I just don't know what to do about anything right now. I feel like I'm in a borderline state of depression, or maybe it's just homesickness.

Anyway, I really don't have much to say right now I just wanted to post something because I really haven't in a while. Hopefully once I get my internet back I can go back to posting on a more regular basis if I'm not too busy studying.

Later....

My Ship Has a Major Leak in It

So remember that job interview last month that I totally bombed? No, well that's probably because I never wrote a blog post about it. It was probably my worst interview EVER which is difficult because I suck at interviews anyway. But to my surprise I just got a call for a job offer for that very position...yay! In case you're wondering it's a student nursing assistant position in pediatric oncology. Cool shit if you ask me. It's been almost a month since the interview but the lady told me they interviewed a lot of people. Of course I was all too eager to accept since I'm broke and I've been jobless for way longer than I care to admit. And then the other shoe dropped.

They only do orientation for the job every other week and it's a three day thing so you have to be available to do it all three days. Unfortunately the most recent one started Monday. Too bad I didn't get this call last week huh? The next orientation isn't until August 30th but of course this also happens to be the day that I start school again, in another state. I certainly can't take 3 days off school to do an orientation, especially if one of those days is a clinical day. The next time I would be available is for winter break starting in December but of course the orientation starting on December 13th is also the same day that finals week starts. Gotta love that. The next one is January 3rd. The lady said she's gonna see if they would be willing to hold the position for me until January.

It's possible because it's only a casual status position with no benefits so it's basically me showing up if and when they need me. She also made it clear that there's no guarantee of hours. But then again if they were looking they obviously need someone so I can't be mad if they're not willing to wait. I guess I'm just gonna have to wait for the phone to ring again and keep my fingers crossed. If I get this foot in the door now it'll put me that much closer to getting an RN position at this hospital after I graduate next year which is exactly what I want. Wish me luck!

Roommate Nonsense

Is it wrong that I want to beat the hell out of my roommate? I got an email from her last Monday saying that she's moving out in mid August sometime. Really dude, wtf?! This isn't a complete surprise because she mentioned a while back that she would "probably" be moving out but didn't have any definite plans at that time. That's part of the reason I'm so pissed about this. Let me give you the little bit of back story there is on the situation.

At the beginning of the year, maybe February or March, is when she told me that she would most likely be moving out sometime in the near future. She didn't have any set plans but she said she would keep me informed. Great. Then sometime after that I asked what was going on and if I should start really trying to find a new roommate. She said yes, so I put the new roomie search in full effect. She didn't mention anything for a while so I asked again what was going on because a few people were interested in the place. This had to be sometime in April. She said she still didn't have a date and at that point wasn't even sure if shwas moving at all. Really bitch?! SMFH! I had no choice but to put the search on hold because I didn't have a move in date for potential roommates.

fast forward to now and I have roughly 2 weeks to find another roommate because she waited until now to tell me that she found a new job AND a house in another part of town. I'm convinced that I'm just not meant to have a roommate, unless you count my dad. *sigh* Fuckery I tell you.

Dating Crazies

Have you ever dated someone who you're almost positive is certifiable? I'm asking because when I was at dinner with a couple of my friends they were both exchanging stories about their past relationships with crazy dudes. I already knew about my friend J's relationship because eventually the guy started to take his crazy out on me and I warned her that she would end up like those women on Maury who are too scared to leave their abusive husbands and get acid thrown on them when they do. Was that a run on sentence? I'm not sure, it's been a while since I've had a grammar class but that's beside the point.

Anyway, I knew J's bf was crazy because at one point he was trying to get his sister to fight me because he claimed that I was disrespecting their relationship and I didn't like him. He also said I was a bad influence and that J acted different every time I was around. Hey loser, maybe I don't like you because my friend told me you showed up at her house at 3am asking her where she was and threw a pitcher of water at her! Fucking asshole. Then my friend C was talking about her most recent ex and how the crazy runs in his family. It was actually pretty funny.

I was sitting there in silence because as I told them, I've never dated a crazy and they responded with "you will." They basically told me that it was coming and when it does I won't recognize myself and it'll be crazy but that I'll laugh about it afterward. This is what brought me to my original question about dating crazies. They made it seem like it was inevitable, almost a right of passage but I don't think it has to be. In fact I hope it's not because I have neither the time or patience for that bullshit.

So.....have YOU ever dated a crazy? Do you really think that we all get that inevitable ONE in our life that makes us question our own sanity? 

Out of Sight, Out of Mind or Absense Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

I've reached a familiar phase in my "relationship" with this guy, if you can really call it that. We've been hanging out for a few weeks now but it's nothing really serious at this point. I find myself at a point now where I'm not really sure where things are going or how it's gonna end up.

The thing about me is that I tend to have a very short attention span when it comes to guys. If a guy isn't making his presence known in some form it's very easy to me to just stop caring and eventually forget about him altogether. Even the tiniest things will suffice, a phone call here, text message there, hell even drop a note on my Facebook wall. Just something to let me know you're around. Why you ask? Because I'm one of those out of sight out of mind people. I'm sure there are many folks out there for which absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am not one of those people. At least not long term.

In the beginning, I totally obsess over the next time I'm gonna speak to or see the boo of the moment. Then after a while it's just like whatever. I guess it's just as much my fault as his. If I really wanted to talk to you I could just as easily pick up the phone but after a while I don't really care enough to bother. That's kind of the point I'm at with this guy. I not so far gone that I just don't give a fuck anymore but right now I really feel like I could go either way. I can either be like screw it and stop caring or I can go back to a milder form of my usual obsession. It's kind of up in the air at this point and the fact that he never responded to my text yesterday isn't exactly helping. I wonder if I should call him today...hmm.

Whatever, I guess I'll just have to see what happens.

Is it a girl thing or am I just ridiculous?

Once again I've started obsessing over a guy after only really knowing him for a short time. Actually I met this guy almost a year ago but we've only recently starting hanging out or "dating" if you will. It was only one "date" so I don't know if I would call that dating anyway but whatever. The point is now I'm back to doing that ridiculous thing I do when I obsess over a guy to the point where it drives me crazy. I'm just wondering if this is a general girl thing or if I'm just weird like that.

Basically ever since Monday the 5th we've talked on the phone almost everyday. I saw him the Friday before that but didn't call because I knew he had some things going on. Then when I finally did talk to him Monday he's all "why didn't you call?" First, I didn't realize I was supposed to call and second I don't want to seem like I'm all up on his dick for lack of a better term. Anyway, for the rest of the week we talked on the phone at least once everyday, maybe more. Then Friday we had our little date then I spent all day Saturday with him until around 7pm. He told me he was kidnapping me so he would have my undivided attention.

He dropped me off Saturday evening and said to call him and in my mind I'm thinking like the next day or something. Wrong. When I called the next day he's all like "hey, you were supposed to call me" and I told him I didn't realize he meant that same day. I was just with you for almost an entire day so I figured we could both use a break. He mentioned something about us trying to work out when to see each other this week because he starts school again so with that and work he's gonna be busier than usual.

Now on to my ridiculousness. Is that a word? Whatever. Anyway, it's been a day and I haven't talked to him since yesterday afternoon sometime and I'm having a fit. WHY?!?! Why do I always to this to myself? I get way too attached way too fast and it becomes a problem. I mean here I am freaking out because this guy hasn't called me since yesterday! Who does that?!?! Is this normal? Do all girls do this or it is just me? Someone snap me out of this and help me come to my senses!

The Return of Penis Man

Oddly enough I don't think I've ever written on my blog about penis man before. I guess because around the time I started blogging I was pretty obsessed with my Aussie man I met on Spring Break (I actually talk about him in five different posts here, here, here, here, and here. Sad I know...smh). In that case I guess I should give a little back story on penis man and how he got that name.

I met this guy at a local bar that my friends and I always complain about yet still continue to go back there every now and again. It was dark and I had a few adult beverages in my system so I didn't really know what he looked like but he had to be at least somewhat cute or I never would've given him my number. Anyway, we texted a bit then I left to go back to school and we continued texting and talking on the phone for a while. Then came the penis incident. *sigh* Why me?

One morning I woke up to a text from him which was annoying because I was actually sleeping at the time and the phone woke me up so already I'm pissed. Then imagine my shock when I see a picture message of an erect penis, which I assume was his, and a message saying "morning wood for you." Umm, pardon me? Mind you I had only seen this guy in person one time which was the night we met. Everything else was just through the phone. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to do or say so I didn't do anything. I just ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. From then on I referred to him as Penis Man to my friends and in my mind. This was strike 1 by the way.

Fast forward several months later and he's back in the picture. He's actually been pretty persistent about talking to me and trying to hang out so I'll give him that. Unfortunately he's already on strike 2 after only a few weeks of us talking again. He said something along the lines of "I'm not really feeling this sarcastic, cynical thing." Really dude because that's kind of my personality. It didn't really register at first because I was a little tipsy when he said it but after sobering up the next morning it pissed me off. In fact the entire phone conversation that night was strange but it's too much to get into here. I'm really hoping he doesn't make strike 3 because aside from the things I mentioned he's actually a decent catch. He's cute, he meets the height requirement, he's in school, working and very focused. I dig.

I'm Bored

I mean really, just bored. Now that school is over and I have yet to find a job, I have absolutely no life. Add to that the fact that the few people I actually hang out with around here graduated and are moving back home by the end of the summer I'm REALLY screwed for a social life. I'm planning on going back home for a while this summer so hopefully then I can at least find a little something to do but still. As much as I hated having to wake up at 5 am to be at clinical by 6:30am I'd much rather be doing that than sitting around the house all day every day with nothing to do. It's times like this where I wish I had a ton of friends or different groups of friends to hang with and a booming social life. But being quiet and somewhat shy has seriously limited my number of friends....damn. I guess I could read the stack of books I have sitting on my dresser but I'm not sure where to start. These are my options:

-Push by Sapphire (the book the movie Precious was based on)

-A Time to Kill by John Grisham (I love the movie so I figured I may as well read the book)

-Othello by Shakespeare (I saw the movie 'O' with Mekhi Phifer and Julia Stiles, loved it and again thought I may as well read the book)

-Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey (I just think it's necessary)

-The Complete Stories by Flannery O'Connor (We read some of her stuff in high school and I loved it but never got around to reading anything else of hers...so I bought book with pretty much ALL of her writings)

Decisions, decisions....hmm

My Dad is so Weird/Mother's Day Tidbit

My dad called me today to ask about mother's day. First thing he says is: "How did you enjoy mother's day yesterday?" Maybe I have a child somewhere that only he knows about. Just kidding, I get why he asked that...sort of. Then he told me he went to put flowers on my mom's grave and said: "Yeah, she was smiling and all that good stuff." Really daddy? Hahaha, he cracks me up. Anyway, I'm glad to know he was thinking about her after just coming back from visiting his new wife in KY (long story). That's all for now, much shorter than my usual blog post but whatever. Still studying for finals, only one more then I'm officially done for the semester...yay!

RIP Mommy <3

Grad School...yay or nay?

This decision has been weighing on my mind lately. To be honest I never even considered the possibility of grad school until they handed out some survey in class about a new DNP program for nursing. I'm not graduating from school until next year but I'm so indecisive about everything I really need to start thinking seriously about this now.

First off, I don't NEED a masters degree. Once I graduate I'll have my BSN then I can take the NCLEX, get my RN license and be an official nurse. As an RN I can get a job and work anywhere and be totally fine. Bottom line is, a masters degree isn't necessary for me to have the career I want. Also, going for my masters means at least 2 more years of school, maybe 3 depending on the school and the type of program. I've already been in school much longer than I should have or wanted to be. With setbacks, being out of school for a period of time, and having to retake classes, I'm graduating way after I was supposed to. Because of this I really, REALLY don't want be in school any longer than absolutely necessary. Another thing is that more school also means more money, which means more student loans, which means more debt after I graduate. I'm already cringing at the thought of all the money I'm gonna owe when I finally do get out of this place. *sigh*

On the up side, with a masters degree I would be able to get a higher level job which means better pay and more authority. Nothing wrong with that. And of course, I'll be able to have more letters at the end of my name...Hahaha. Wow, way more negatives than positives for the masters degree so it's looking like a no but I'm still not entirely sure. Add to the negatives the fact that I would have to take that stupid GRE just to get into grad school...ugh.

Anyway, like I said I have no idea what I'm gonna do about this. I still have some time to decide and with school at least you know it's always there. But I think it would be harder to go back if I were out for a while, unlike if I just went straight through. *sigh* So many decisions.

Did I start some drama?

....and more importantly, do I care?

So here's the deal, I had a huge ridiculous crush on this guy all through high school but he never even looked my way. Since graduating we've seen each other out around town but we never really said anything to each other because we were never friends. He was, however, friends with a good friend of mine. Long story short, we ran into each other at a bar last year and after encouragement from my friend in the form of "Hey, you remember Katrina right?" we ended up talking a bit and exchanging numbers....yay! (or so I thought)

We were talking/texting/facebook chatting back and forth for a while because I left to go back to school. Then when I was home for a weekend I went and hung out with him for a bit. After I came back we still talked pretty regularly for a couple of weeks then nothing, which is as much my fault as it is his because sometimes I just don't care enough to keep in touch with people, especially guys *shrugs*.

Anyway, after some time went by he started talking to me on facebook chat one day and it all went downhill from there. First off, he contacted me through his friend's account who I'm also friends with which I thought was a little weird. To be honest, I didn't believe it was him for several reasons. First is because he asked if we were gonna hang out that night which I found strange because the last time we saw each other was the day before I left for school. He even called me the next night to see if I made it back okay. Then this is how the facebook convo went:

Him: When you get back I'm gonna lick that ass.
Me: Umm, ew.
Him: Let me hit you up when I get on my page, I'm on my boy's account right now.
Me: Probably not because I'm kinda grossed out right now.

Suddenly I see that he is signed on under his own name and I quickly logged off. That was the last I spoke to him. Less than a week later his facebook says that he's now 'In a relationship' with some thick broad. Really? Not 2 seconds ago you were trying to lick my ass and now you're in a relationship?! Ok, I get it. Upon seeing this I decided to click 'Like' on his new relationship status. There were also comments from a few other girls pretty much congratulating him on this new relationship. Then a day or so later there is a comment from the thick broad saying "oh, so you deleted it because of these little comments?" That's when I noticed that his relationship status was no longer listed as in a relationship. He basically just removed the relationship status portion of his profile and the thick broad 'Liked' that he was 'No longer in a relationship.'

The question is, did I cause this drama? Did my one little asshole move bring problems to others? I don't know. Maybe I'm giving myself too much credit here. Maybe it had nothing to do with me at all, it just happened. But the timing is a little convenient for it to just be a coincidence because I didn't 'Like' his status until about 2 days later. I just find it funny that he deleted his status just after I 'Liked' it. Either way, I had a hearty laugh at his expense. The whole thing was quite entertaining.

Birthday Celebration from Hell (or at least somewhere close to it)

This past Wednesday (the 21st) was my birthday but I didn't actually go out to celebrate it until Friday. I was planning and hoping to have so much fun but that ended up not happening. In fact the entire week started going downhill on Monday but I held out hope that it would get better. It was my birthday week so of course I tried to have a positive attitude and be in a good mood but now I'm just annoyed with everything. Here's what happened:

Monday: My friend from back home told me that she wouldn't be able to drive down for this concert on Friday that we both really wanted to go to because she couldn't afford to spend the extra cash with her car payment due the same week....understandable but still, I was disappointed. We haven't seen each other for months so it would've been fun to hang out for the weekend. Moving on...


Tuesday: My other friend tells me that she can't go to the concert because it costs too much. Apparently when I told her the prices the first time around (a couple weeks ago) she didn't remember them being so high. In case you're wondering: Floor seats were $75, Lower level were $55 and Upper level was $30. To me that doesn't seem so bad for the number of acts that were going to be there. Especially when other concerts start in the $100s but ok, sure....whatever. Instead we made plans to just go out clubbing on Friday instead since I didn't have anyone else to go to the concert with.

Wednesday (my actual birthday): I'm a nursing student so I spent 12 hours in clinical. Ordinarily I don't care because I like clinical but having to be at the hospital by 6:30am on my birthday really hurt my soul...ugh. I didn't go out that night because by the time I got home all I wanted to do was sleep. On the up side, I was able to see an X-ray of conjoined twins so that was pretty cool.


Thursday: I texted my two friends (including the non concert goer) to tell them I wanted to go out Friday for my birthday. My one friend was sick and couldn't go out so I can't fault her for that. The other one told me she was planning to go out with her other friend to some 18+ club because her friend's friend isn't 21. Really bitch? Didn't we just make plans to go out? Ugh! Then she asks why I didn't tell her it was my birthday. Why? Because I'm not one of those people who runs around shouting "Hey it's my birthday!" to anyone who will listen, that's why. I didn't say that though, I just told her that's what Facebook is for. It's funny though because she was the only one of the 3 girls I actually hang with out here that didn't realize it was my birthday. Again...whatever. So we decide that the two of us and our other friend J are gonna go out on Friday.

Friday: Complete and utter bullshit ensued for the night...smfh

1. The place I really wanted to go to was dead as a doornail. We walked over, looked inside and the place had all of 10 people inside. Disappointing indeed.

2. The next place on my list that I heard really good things about had a bouncer that was a complete douche. I showed him my driver's license (out of state because I'm in PA but I'm from CT) and he says "That's not you sweetheart." Really asshole? I've been using that government issued ID to go into every spot since I got it
3 years ago but that's not me. Why because my hair is different and I wasn't smiling? Seriously?! I'm 24, what the fuck do I need a fake ID for? I've NEVER used a fake in my life. If I wasn't old enough to get in I just didn't bother going. Admittedly, I know that I look young for my age. I get told on a regular basis that I look anywhere from 16-18 but never my actual age. But still for him to say it's not me, like I'm trying to sneak into his raggedy little club when I wasn't just pissed me off.

3. We end up going to the same place we always go to which was ok because at least we always have fun there. After a while the music started to suck so we went to a few other places. One place I wanted to go to but when we got outside I could tell by the music playing I didn't want to go in. Then we were bombarded by some guys who somehow talked my friends into going inside. I ended up going in and was ready to go instantly. Why we stayed there as long as we did (about 5-10 minutes) I can't for the life of me figure out. Especially since we never even saw the guys who talked my friends into going in in the first place. So annoying.

4. We go to the next place which I also don't like but I figured I'd give it a chance because my friend kept bitching about wanting to go there. The only good thing about this place is the music and the drinks, everything else sucks. It's way too small so with all the people in there you can barely move a muscle. And the worst part is that when we walked in it seemed like every guy in the place was staring us down like we were slabs of meat. It was really disturbing and J and I felt really uncomfortable. Yet we ended up staying there for a little bit....lord why?! In the end we went back to our original spot until the end of the night.

5. How did I end up paying for the entire cab ride on MY birthday? Good question. When one girl only brings a debit card and the other girl only brings $5 it's kind of hard to split the bill. I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would go out and not bring money with them. One thing my mom always told me was to NEVER go anywhere without cash because you never know what could come up and I've always listened to that.

Fun night huh? Happy birthday to me.

The Obedient Wife

A while back a friend of mine on Twitter posted a question about how obedient a wife should be to her husband or something to that effect. I said that I didn't like the idea of obedience in marriage because to me it implies that the woman is subordinate to the husband. I feel like obedience means that she has to listen to him and do what he says, almost like a parent rather than a partner. Then my friend said something about how the Bible says that women are supposed to be obedient to their husbands to some extent or something like that *cough*bullshit*cough*.

After that last comment I just didn't reply because I knew it would probably lead to some type of argument and it wasn't worth it. Needless to say I completely disagree with the idea of a wife (or husband) being obedient to their partner in a marriage. Then the whole Bible aspect just really irked me because I don't believe that the Bible is something that should be taken literally word for word, but that's another issue for another day.

Anyway, like I said before, I think my issue with this is what the word 'obedient' represents to me. Maybe for other people it doesn't seem like such a bad thing but for me it almost seems like lock down. To me obedience sounds like submission, bowing down and being beneath someone which is NOT cool....especially in a relationship. What it basically boils down to is that if I'm in a relationship with someone, there is no reason why I feel I should have to 'obey' them. Last time I checked you weren't my father.

I think I'm ranting. Am I ranting? Anyway whatever, I just can't stand the idea of submissiveness in a romantic relationship. Take that love, honor and 'obey' crap back to the 20's or wherever it came from. Ok fine, keep the love and honor part(you know what I meant).


ps: I really don't like this post but here I am posting it anyway. Ha ha, oh well.

White people and the 'N' word...wtf is going on?

A touchy subject that 'N' word isn't it? Once again I've been inspired by the situation of others. This all started with a Facebook status which just convinced me even more that Facebook can and will get you into trouble eventually. Anyway, on to the point of this post.

A white girl, who I'll call 'S', posted a rap lyric on her FB status using the N word (the 'a' version not the 'er' version). Just as a little background, this isn't the first time she's used n***a in a status of hers but I'm not entirely sure if they've been song lyrics in the past. Also her kid is half black so I'm pretty sure she's not racist. Anyway, back on topic....after she made this comment my friend, who I'll call 'L', commented on her status saying something to the effect of 'do you really need to use the N word?' From that point it got a little heated because S got all pissy and started throwing attitude and L threw it right back, etc. You know how that whole thing goes. Then another white girl, M, commented that she thought it was okay as long as it ends in 'a' and not 'er.' *sigh* And that's why I'm writing this.

To all my white friends out there it is NOT okay to use the N word ever for any reason. I don't care how "down" you think you are or if you think you have a so called "hood pass" or if you grew up around Black people your entire life. It's just not cool. Period. I don't even like when Black people use the word too much. People are just way too comfortable throwing it around these days and I just don't get it. Hell even Hispanics use is sometimes (for examples, see Fat Joe and other Latino rappers). That whole 'we took the word and turned into something positive' BS excuse that Black people try to use is just that...bullshit. How the hell do you turn a derogatory term into something positive? Is that even possible? Just another lame ass excuse if you ask me.

And before anyone asks, yes I have used the 'a' version of the word in the past and probably will again in the future. Is it right just because I'm Black? No. Is it okay because I'm Black? Maybe. At the very least it's less wrong, if that makes sense. In any case, I'm working on not using the N word at all which is completely doable. Sometimes it's the first word I think of but it's really not that hard to stop and think for a second before you actually say something out loud. I think the worst part is that I know better yet I've still used it but I'm trying. What can I say, I'm still a work in progress.