A rant....

These are some thoughts that I typed on my iTouch a few weeks ago when I was on Spring Break in Miami. I couldn't really talk about it to my friends so I decided then and there to start keeping something of a journal and this is what was produced over the course of about 2 days.

Part 1:
I feel stupid about this guy. Like I'm being annoying or just looking really thirsty when I don't think I am. I just think he's a nice, cute guy that I want to hang with while I'm here. What's wrong with that? I hate not knowing what's going on with dudes. So annoying. I expected way too much and now I'm disappointed with the outcome. And I can't even make contact again today so I'm just done for the moment. I don't want to play myself any harder than I already have.

Part 2:
Still trying really hard not to feel stupid but I do. I thought this guy liked me and maybe he really does but he hasn't tried to contact me at all. Now I'm wondering if I just fell for the game yet again or if I'm making something out of nothing like I always do. I think my instincts about guys intentions are usually pretty accurate but right now I'm not sure. I really don't want him to be just another well disguised jerk but that's what I'm afraid is happening. But then I usually tend to think of the worst possible scenario in every situation so who knows.

Part 3:
7pm and still watching my phone. Kinda pathetic isn't it? Ugh, I just don't know anymore and I'm pretty bummed about the whole thing at this point. That's the problem when you're the kind of girl who falls too hard too fast ALL the time. I wish I could control when and how I fall but I guess you're not supposed to.

Part 4 (the next day):
So it turns out his phone died so that's why he didn't text me back. For that I can't really be mad at him. On the negative side he kind of blew me off for our dinner plans. First he asked me if I wanted to meet up for dinner around 7. Then around 6:20 he says he just got in the bathroom so it's gonna be awhile. Ok, fine. Then I don't hear from him for a while so I text and say 'hey, what's up with dinner?' He says he already had dinner and he thought I was gonna have dinner with my friends. Really dude? WTF?! At this point I'm pissed but it's my vacation so I'm not gonna let it get me down.