A Random True Story: The Stalker

I'm bored, eating shrimp lo mein and watching Living Single so I decided to write a random blog post about this guy I was never involved with for your entertainment. Enjoy.

So, I knew this guy in high school, we'll just call him "Dan" as I'm not into putting people on blast for my personal enjoyment. Unless they've pissed me off but that's neither here nor there. Back in school Dan and I weren't really friends. I mean, we were acquainted, had classes together and traveled in the same social circle but we never actually hung out or anything. Anyway, the years went on, we graduated and went our separate ways. Me with barely a thought about Dan because, as I said, we were hardly friends. 

Cut to college and the beginning of the Facebook craze. Back then you actually had to have a college email address in order to sign up. Ahh, the good old days. Dan and I became FB friends and eventually AIM buddies as well (that's AOL Instant Messenger for the youngins). Am I the only one who would spend an obscene amount of time trying to come up with a catchy away status? More often than not it would just end up being song lyrics but now I'm getting off topic. I wanna say around freshman year of college was the first time Dan started showing some romantic interest in me. I wasn't interested. In fact, I went out of my way to avoid any type of in person meeting with him.

There were several times Dan asked me to hang out via AIM but I wouldn't. There was one incident in particular that threw me off. Dan is a black man and he told me that he'd never dated a black girl before. My teenage mind was shocked by such a revelation. Then he said something to the effect of "Your black parents would be happy" if we went out. Huh?! I just......what does that even mean? I don't know, it just through me off. Either way, I definitely wasn't interested.

Now, it's some time later and I'm home for the summer or winter break or something. Either way it's like I see Dan everywhere. Out at the club or at my favorite chain restaurant where he happens to work. What are the odds right? I began referring to him as my stalker when it seemed like I was seeing him everywhere all over town. I'm sure I was exaggerating but so what. I had a stalker. 

Fast forward to now and Dan randomly starts talking to me on Facebook messenger. I'd say it started a few months ago, it was still warm out. He asked me out yet again and I finally agreed to meet for drinks one evening. He said he got out of work around 7p so we agreed to meet about 730ish. Mind you, we'd never exchanged numbers all this time. I go, I sit, I wait for about a half hour to forty minutes. He never showed. Then I get a FB message from him asking what I'm doing at almost 830. Say what now? I'm sitting here waiting for you! Fuck you mean what am I doing?! Then he says he JUST got out of work. But I thought we were meeting at 730. Oh, the time I get out of work can vary depending on the case he tells me. This would have been nice to know BEFORE. 

Now, I really didn't want to go out with him in the first place but I was bored and sick of him asking. Plus now that I've matured, I figured I should just go for it because who knows, I might actually like the guy if I give him a chance. Well, he blew it. I felt like I was stood up. In fact, an older gentlemen at the bar left before I did but I ran into him on the way back to the parking garage. He actually stopped me and asked "Did your date not show up?" BURN. He then proceeded to ask if I wanted to grab a beer but he was easily in his 50s so I wasn't into it. Nice guy though.

I told Dan maybe some other time. We finally exchanged numbers but never made any real plans to hang. Then he started FB messaging me again. Not sure why since he was the one who wanted to exchange numbers in the first place. A couple of nights ago he asked if we could make plans to meet up again. I said I didn't think so. Why he asked. Because I'm not interested (never really was tbh) and now I have a boyfriend so that would just be fucked up. He didn't reply and I haven't heard from him since. 

And that is the random true story of my stalker. Now that I've written it all down, he wasn't all that much of a stalker. Oh well, too late to find a new nickname now. Bless your heart if you actually read all this. I'd probably just see the length of this post and decide to not even bother. But thanks if you're still here.

Good day kiddies.

Dump Your Friends???

This post was inspired by a rerun of Girlfriends I was watching the other day. In the episode Maya told the girls that she couldn't hang with them anymore because her husband Darnell told/asked her not to. It made me wonder if most people would actually stop being friends with someone just because your significant other told you not to. At this point, I don't think I would drop my friends just because some guy told  me to. Like, who the hell are you to tell me who my friends should be?

I think some of it depends on the nature of your relationship. For example, there's a big difference between a boyfriend/girlfriend making such a request compared to a husband/wife. I think most people would me more likely to agree to drop their friends if a spouse was asking instead of just a bf/gf. And I suppose it would also be dependent on the reasoning behind the request. Even still, I'm not sure if I could do it. I mean, they're MY friends, it's not like you have to be around them all the time.

On the other hand, if we're talking about opposite sex friends that might be a different story. Sure, she might JUST be a friend that you've lived next door to since kindergarten but I'll be damned if y'all are gonna be having private dinners that I don't know about. It's difficult because I believe that females can be JUST FRIENDS with guys but I'm not sure that guys can do the same with females. If that makes any sense. I don't know, I suppose it's a sticky situation all around.

Personally, I've been on the opposite side of this situation. There was one point when my friend's (now ex) boyfriend decided he was no longer a fan of mine and every time she and I would hang out it was always a problem. Before I get into details let me give a bit of back story: The whole problem started with the Myspace top 8 (stupid I know). My friend had me at #1 then put her bf at #1 when they started going out. I made a JOKE on her page saying something along the lines of "how dare you replace me with that man...lol" or something to that affect. I was obviously joking but he didn't take it that way. He claimed that I was disrespecting their relationship and that he didn't like me anymore. Boo freaking hoo! According to my friend from that point on whenever she told him she was hanging out with me there would always be a face or a disappointed sigh. Spare me. The real crazy part is that he was actually trying to get his sister to fight me at one point. Are you fucking kidding?! She and I were at a diner one night after partying when he called and he asked her would it be wrong if he told his sister to come down there. Really sir? -_-

The thing is, aside from his bipolar mood swings, I NEVER had a problem with him.When he wasn't having a mood swing he was cool people, so for him to just flip flop over a joke about a Myspace top 8 is just outrageous. As far as I know he never actually told her to stop being friends with me but you get the idea. In any case, I'm pretty sure I would never drop my friends for a boyfriend. Husband? I'd consider it but I don't know.

What do you think?

He Doesn't Want a Relationship....

So recently I met this guy who I'll refer to as 'New Boy'. We've been talking and texting pretty much every day since we met which is a big change from 'old dude' but we won't talk about him right now. After basically being strung along and played by Old Dude for the last couple of years, meeting someone new was a nice surprise. So far he seems like a genuinely nice guy and he's very easy to talk to. The one slight downside is that he has a kid which is new for me but let's not get carried away.

My real issue is that once we started talking about relationships and why neither of us are currently in relationships, he flat out said "I'm not in a relationship because I choose not to be; I don't want one right now." Le fucking sigh. That was disappointing to hear but I know enough to know that there's nothing I can do to change it. It's possible that he could change his mind during the course of our.....whatever it is......but I won't hold my breath. It's unfortunate because I DO want a relationship for the first time in a long time. Up until now I've been fine doing the single thing and being free but now I want something more. I think I'm going through a quarter life crisis.

Most people I know around my age (25) are engaged, married, having babies or at the very least are in long term committed relationships. I feel like I'm missing something but who knows. Anyway, for the time being I don't mind just casually "dating" this guy without it being anything serious. It just means that I can remain open to other people who may come into my life. If I find someone else I like then even better. There's no reason for me to close myself off to the possibilities.

That's all for now....

Dating Crazies

Have you ever dated someone who you're almost positive is certifiable? I'm asking because when I was at dinner with a couple of my friends they were both exchanging stories about their past relationships with crazy dudes. I already knew about my friend J's relationship because eventually the guy started to take his crazy out on me and I warned her that she would end up like those women on Maury who are too scared to leave their abusive husbands and get acid thrown on them when they do. Was that a run on sentence? I'm not sure, it's been a while since I've had a grammar class but that's beside the point.

Anyway, I knew J's bf was crazy because at one point he was trying to get his sister to fight me because he claimed that I was disrespecting their relationship and I didn't like him. He also said I was a bad influence and that J acted different every time I was around. Hey loser, maybe I don't like you because my friend told me you showed up at her house at 3am asking her where she was and threw a pitcher of water at her! Fucking asshole. Then my friend C was talking about her most recent ex and how the crazy runs in his family. It was actually pretty funny.

I was sitting there in silence because as I told them, I've never dated a crazy and they responded with "you will." They basically told me that it was coming and when it does I won't recognize myself and it'll be crazy but that I'll laugh about it afterward. This is what brought me to my original question about dating crazies. They made it seem like it was inevitable, almost a right of passage but I don't think it has to be. In fact I hope it's not because I have neither the time or patience for that bullshit.

So.....have YOU ever dated a crazy? Do you really think that we all get that inevitable ONE in our life that makes us question our own sanity? 

Is it a girl thing or am I just ridiculous?

Once again I've started obsessing over a guy after only really knowing him for a short time. Actually I met this guy almost a year ago but we've only recently starting hanging out or "dating" if you will. It was only one "date" so I don't know if I would call that dating anyway but whatever. The point is now I'm back to doing that ridiculous thing I do when I obsess over a guy to the point where it drives me crazy. I'm just wondering if this is a general girl thing or if I'm just weird like that.

Basically ever since Monday the 5th we've talked on the phone almost everyday. I saw him the Friday before that but didn't call because I knew he had some things going on. Then when I finally did talk to him Monday he's all "why didn't you call?" First, I didn't realize I was supposed to call and second I don't want to seem like I'm all up on his dick for lack of a better term. Anyway, for the rest of the week we talked on the phone at least once everyday, maybe more. Then Friday we had our little date then I spent all day Saturday with him until around 7pm. He told me he was kidnapping me so he would have my undivided attention.

He dropped me off Saturday evening and said to call him and in my mind I'm thinking like the next day or something. Wrong. When I called the next day he's all like "hey, you were supposed to call me" and I told him I didn't realize he meant that same day. I was just with you for almost an entire day so I figured we could both use a break. He mentioned something about us trying to work out when to see each other this week because he starts school again so with that and work he's gonna be busier than usual.

Now on to my ridiculousness. Is that a word? Whatever. Anyway, it's been a day and I haven't talked to him since yesterday afternoon sometime and I'm having a fit. WHY?!?! Why do I always to this to myself? I get way too attached way too fast and it becomes a problem. I mean here I am freaking out because this guy hasn't called me since yesterday! Who does that?!?! Is this normal? Do all girls do this or it is just me? Someone snap me out of this and help me come to my senses!

He can get it....

Here's a few guys, in no particular order, that I wouldn't mind giving the business to if the opportunity ever presented itself. It would probably never happen but hey, a girl can dream.



Jesse Williams. A man who I have decided to rename 'Fineness' is currently an actor on Grey's Anatomy. He was also in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 but I first saw him on Grey's. I don't even watch Grey's Anatomy but the tv was on it one night and I saw a glimpse of his beautiful face and light eyes and I fell in love. One thing I know about Jesse is that he graduated from my current school, Temple University. I'm a little disappointed that I was never lucky enough to see him walking around campus but that's ok. There isn't much info about him online but he's hot so who cares. Just look at the pretty pictures :).




Robin Thicke. Sex therapy? Yes, please. What can I say about Robin Thicke? Hmm...well I'm pretty sure his voice makes women around the world melt. I for one was surprised to find out that Robin's father is the dad from Growing Pains, not that it really matters. Anyway, I first remember seeing Robin riding a bike in his video for When I Get You Alone but I didn't pay much attention back then. The long hair didn't really do it for me. Then years later my friend put me on to the Lost Without You song/video and ever since then I was hooked. How can you not love this man?




Colin Farrell. Although smoking is my #1 turn off in a guy, I would be willing to make an exception with Colin (at least for a night). He's such a bad boy and I love it. The swearing, the smoking, the drinking, he's the kind of guy your mother warned you about and thank God you didn't listen. Definitely wouldn't mind seeing what's on the other side of his rainbow. (If you get my drift)





Boris Kodjoe. Is there really any explanation necessary? I didn't think so. The man is just all kinds of sexy.












Ian Somerhalder. A lot of people probably know Ian from Lost, but I never watched that show so I know him as bad boy Damon from Vampire Diaries. I'll be the first to admit that I could really care less about the whole vampire craze that's going on right now but this guy makes me want to get to know the undead.




And now an oldie but goody, John Stamos. Most people probably know him as Uncle Jesse from Full House or that doctor from ER. This man is the prime example of 'better with age.' I don't know what it is about John Stamos but he truly gets hotter as the years go by. It's crazy but I love it!








Mark Consuelos. One half of one of my favorite celebrity couples. He happens to be married to one of my many girl crushes, Kelly Ripa, but that's another post for another day. Mark played Mateo Santos on the ABC soap All My Children for several years, which is where he met his wife (and my girl crush) Kelly. What else can I say, the man is just gorgeous. Who wouldn't want a piece of that?
Fun Fact: Mark is half Italian and half Mexican



Anderson Cooper. I know what some of you may be thinking: 'What the hell is this pale, silver haired news guy doing in the same list as all these hotties?' I admit that at first I didn't really see the appeal of Anderson but as time has passed I've realized what a hottie he really is. For those of you living under a rock, Anderson is a CNN news anchor and has his own show on the network called AC 360. On occasion he also guest co-hosts on Live with Regis and Kelly which is where I first learned of his hotness. On top of being a 'silver fox' AC is also smart, informed, funny and he actually cares about people. He even saved a kid's life in Haiti. What's hotter than a guy who saves little kids? Not much if you ask me.




Joshua Jackson. He's come a long way from being sidekick Pacey on Dawson's Creek (ps: Pacey and Joey were the shit, Dawson can kick rocks). I first remember seeing Josh on Dawson's Creek and too be honest, I didn't see anything too special about him at the time. Then I happened to be watching a Mighty Ducks marathon on tv and I was like 'hey, that's Pacey!' He was so adorable playing Charlie in the duck movies. He's currently on the show Fringe but I don't watch it so I have no idea when or what channel it comes on, check your local listings and all that.



Greg Vaughan. American tv actor from Charmed, 90210, and General Hospital. I know Greg from playing Lucky on General Hospital for however many years until recently. Not much to say about Greg except that he's hot and a family man which makes him even hotter. Anyone who follows him on twitter knows what I'm talking about.


That's all for now.

"I can see you married to a white man...."

The title sentence of this post was uttered by a good friend of mine while we were on vacation. Oddly enough, I had never really thought too much about the possibility of marrying a white guy until she said that. I've dated people from different races so it really doesn't matter but for some reason I never considered it.

Like I mentioned before, this whole thing started while we were on vacation in Miami for a few days and I guess my friend, who I'll call 'M,' noticed a difference in my behavior/communication with black guys vs. white guys. M told me that I'm more talkative and engaging with white guys than with black guys. Apparently with black guys I was looking around, not making as much eye contact and not talking to them as much. I never noticed any type of change in my behavior when talking to guys of different races so I was a little surprised by her comments. There's really no explanation I can think of as to why this happens because I don't prefer one race over the other and I've had both good and bad experiences with both black and white guys.

After doing a little self reflection, I realized that it is much easier for me to talk to white guys. I have no clue why but that's just the way it is, for me at least. At the moment I'm crushing on a black guy and a white guy so I guess I'll have to be a little more observant of my behavior towards each of them to see if there are any real differences. Nothing wrong with a little self analysis every now and again. With that being said, in the words of Big Pun: "I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of that ass."

Happy Dating! :)