This post was inspired by a rerun of Girlfriends I was watching the other day. In the episode Maya told the girls that she couldn't hang with them anymore because her husband Darnell told/asked her not to. It made me wonder if most people would actually stop being friends with someone just because your significant other told you not to. At this point, I don't think I would drop my friends just because some guy told me to. Like, who the hell are you to tell me who my friends should be?
I think some of it depends on the nature of your relationship. For example, there's a big difference between a boyfriend/girlfriend making such a request compared to a husband/wife. I think most people would me more likely to agree to drop their friends if a spouse was asking instead of just a bf/gf. And I suppose it would also be dependent on the reasoning behind the request. Even still, I'm not sure if I could do it. I mean, they're MY friends, it's not like you have to be around them all the time.
On the other hand, if we're talking about opposite sex friends that might be a different story. Sure, she might JUST be a friend that you've lived next door to since kindergarten but I'll be damned if y'all are gonna be having private dinners that I don't know about. It's difficult because I believe that females can be JUST FRIENDS with guys but I'm not sure that guys can do the same with females. If that makes any sense. I don't know, I suppose it's a sticky situation all around.
Personally, I've been on the opposite side of this situation. There was one point when my friend's (now ex) boyfriend decided he was no longer a fan of mine and every time she and I would hang out it was always a problem. Before I get into details let me give a bit of back story: The whole problem started with the Myspace top 8 (stupid I know). My friend had me at #1 then put her bf at #1 when they started going out. I made a JOKE on her page saying something along the lines of "how dare you replace me with that man...lol" or something to that affect. I was obviously joking but he didn't take it that way. He claimed that I was disrespecting their relationship and that he didn't like me anymore. Boo freaking hoo! According to my friend from that point on whenever she told him she was hanging out with me there would always be a face or a disappointed sigh. Spare me. The real crazy part is that he was actually trying to get his sister to fight me at one point. Are you fucking kidding?! She and I were at a diner one night after partying when he called and he asked her would it be wrong if he told his sister to come down there. Really sir? -_-
The thing is, aside from his bipolar mood swings, I NEVER had a problem with him.When he wasn't having a mood swing he was cool people, so for him to just flip flop over a joke about a Myspace top 8 is just outrageous. As far as I know he never actually told her to stop being friends with me but you get the idea. In any case, I'm pretty sure I would never drop my friends for a boyfriend. Husband? I'd consider it but I don't know.
What do you think?
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Open Relationships: Yay or Nay?
The other day over on Necole Bitchie's blog there was a big discussion about open relationships after she posted something about Jill Scott's and Chilli's thoughts on the subject. There were several other celebrities whose opinions were listed as well as a number of readers. This made me start to think about my feelings on the subject. To be honest, I have no desire to ever be in an open relationship, especially if that relationship is an actual marriage. I just don't see the point in being with someone with the understanding that stepping out of the relationship is okay.
I suppose the arguments in favor of open relationships can be viewed as relevant but I still disagree. One argument in favor of open relationships mentioned that even if you're with one person you can still be attracted to someone else, which I agree with. Just because you're committed to and in love with one person doesn't automatically make you dead to the rest of the world. However, that doesn't mean that you should act on it.
I personally feel that there's no point in having an open relationship, marriage in particular. I mean, what's the point of getting married if you're still gonna see/hook-up/sleep with other people outside the relationship. You may as well not even get married. I guess the big difference is that your partner knows what's going on but still. That wouldn't give me much comfort. It sounds like dating to me. There's a few people you like, maybe one more than others, but you're keeping your options open. To me that's not what a relationship is about. I feel like if you're gonna marry someone that person should be enough. Period. Sure you'll always find other people attractive and there's nothing wrong with that, but have some self control. Is it really THAT difficult? I don't think so.
Anyway, that's just my two cents. Do what you want, it's your life.
That's all for now.
I suppose the arguments in favor of open relationships can be viewed as relevant but I still disagree. One argument in favor of open relationships mentioned that even if you're with one person you can still be attracted to someone else, which I agree with. Just because you're committed to and in love with one person doesn't automatically make you dead to the rest of the world. However, that doesn't mean that you should act on it.
I personally feel that there's no point in having an open relationship, marriage in particular. I mean, what's the point of getting married if you're still gonna see/hook-up/sleep with other people outside the relationship. You may as well not even get married. I guess the big difference is that your partner knows what's going on but still. That wouldn't give me much comfort. It sounds like dating to me. There's a few people you like, maybe one more than others, but you're keeping your options open. To me that's not what a relationship is about. I feel like if you're gonna marry someone that person should be enough. Period. Sure you'll always find other people attractive and there's nothing wrong with that, but have some self control. Is it really THAT difficult? I don't think so.
Anyway, that's just my two cents. Do what you want, it's your life.
That's all for now.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Is it a girl thing or am I just ridiculous?
Once again I've started obsessing over a guy after only really knowing him for a short time. Actually I met this guy almost a year ago but we've only recently starting hanging out or "dating" if you will. It was only one "date" so I don't know if I would call that dating anyway but whatever. The point is now I'm back to doing that ridiculous thing I do when I obsess over a guy to the point where it drives me crazy. I'm just wondering if this is a general girl thing or if I'm just weird like that.
Basically ever since Monday the 5th we've talked on the phone almost everyday. I saw him the Friday before that but didn't call because I knew he had some things going on. Then when I finally did talk to him Monday he's all "why didn't you call?" First, I didn't realize I was supposed to call and second I don't want to seem like I'm all up on his dick for lack of a better term. Anyway, for the rest of the week we talked on the phone at least once everyday, maybe more. Then Friday we had our little date then I spent all day Saturday with him until around 7pm. He told me he was kidnapping me so he would have my undivided attention.
He dropped me off Saturday evening and said to call him and in my mind I'm thinking like the next day or something. Wrong. When I called the next day he's all like "hey, you were supposed to call me" and I told him I didn't realize he meant that same day. I was just with you for almost an entire day so I figured we could both use a break. He mentioned something about us trying to work out when to see each other this week because he starts school again so with that and work he's gonna be busier than usual.
Now on to my ridiculousness. Is that a word? Whatever. Anyway, it's been a day and I haven't talked to him since yesterday afternoon sometime and I'm having a fit. WHY?!?! Why do I always to this to myself? I get way too attached way too fast and it becomes a problem. I mean here I am freaking out because this guy hasn't called me since yesterday! Who does that?!?! Is this normal? Do all girls do this or it is just me? Someone snap me out of this and help me come to my senses!
Basically ever since Monday the 5th we've talked on the phone almost everyday. I saw him the Friday before that but didn't call because I knew he had some things going on. Then when I finally did talk to him Monday he's all "why didn't you call?" First, I didn't realize I was supposed to call and second I don't want to seem like I'm all up on his dick for lack of a better term. Anyway, for the rest of the week we talked on the phone at least once everyday, maybe more. Then Friday we had our little date then I spent all day Saturday with him until around 7pm. He told me he was kidnapping me so he would have my undivided attention.
He dropped me off Saturday evening and said to call him and in my mind I'm thinking like the next day or something. Wrong. When I called the next day he's all like "hey, you were supposed to call me" and I told him I didn't realize he meant that same day. I was just with you for almost an entire day so I figured we could both use a break. He mentioned something about us trying to work out when to see each other this week because he starts school again so with that and work he's gonna be busier than usual.
Now on to my ridiculousness. Is that a word? Whatever. Anyway, it's been a day and I haven't talked to him since yesterday afternoon sometime and I'm having a fit. WHY?!?! Why do I always to this to myself? I get way too attached way too fast and it becomes a problem. I mean here I am freaking out because this guy hasn't called me since yesterday! Who does that?!?! Is this normal? Do all girls do this or it is just me? Someone snap me out of this and help me come to my senses!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
The Return of Penis Man
Oddly enough I don't think I've ever written on my blog about penis man before. I guess because around the time I started blogging I was pretty obsessed with my Aussie man I met on Spring Break (I actually talk about him in five different posts here, here, here, here, and here. Sad I know...smh). In that case I guess I should give a little back story on penis man and how he got that name.
I met this guy at a local bar that my friends and I always complain about yet still continue to go back there every now and again. It was dark and I had a few adult beverages in my system so I didn't really know what he looked like but he had to be at least somewhat cute or I never would've given him my number. Anyway, we texted a bit then I left to go back to school and we continued texting and talking on the phone for a while. Then came the penis incident. *sigh* Why me?
One morning I woke up to a text from him which was annoying because I was actually sleeping at the time and the phone woke me up so already I'm pissed. Then imagine my shock when I see a picture message of an erect penis, which I assume was his, and a message saying "morning wood for you." Umm, pardon me? Mind you I had only seen this guy in person one time which was the night we met. Everything else was just through the phone. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to do or say so I didn't do anything. I just ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. From then on I referred to him as Penis Man to my friends and in my mind. This was strike 1 by the way.
Fast forward several months later and he's back in the picture. He's actually been pretty persistent about talking to me and trying to hang out so I'll give him that. Unfortunately he's already on strike 2 after only a few weeks of us talking again. He said something along the lines of "I'm not really feeling this sarcastic, cynical thing." Really dude because that's kind of my personality. It didn't really register at first because I was a little tipsy when he said it but after sobering up the next morning it pissed me off. In fact the entire phone conversation that night was strange but it's too much to get into here. I'm really hoping he doesn't make strike 3 because aside from the things I mentioned he's actually a decent catch. He's cute, he meets the height requirement, he's in school, working and very focused. I dig.
I met this guy at a local bar that my friends and I always complain about yet still continue to go back there every now and again. It was dark and I had a few adult beverages in my system so I didn't really know what he looked like but he had to be at least somewhat cute or I never would've given him my number. Anyway, we texted a bit then I left to go back to school and we continued texting and talking on the phone for a while. Then came the penis incident. *sigh* Why me?
One morning I woke up to a text from him which was annoying because I was actually sleeping at the time and the phone woke me up so already I'm pissed. Then imagine my shock when I see a picture message of an erect penis, which I assume was his, and a message saying "morning wood for you." Umm, pardon me? Mind you I had only seen this guy in person one time which was the night we met. Everything else was just through the phone. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to do or say so I didn't do anything. I just ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. From then on I referred to him as Penis Man to my friends and in my mind. This was strike 1 by the way.
Fast forward several months later and he's back in the picture. He's actually been pretty persistent about talking to me and trying to hang out so I'll give him that. Unfortunately he's already on strike 2 after only a few weeks of us talking again. He said something along the lines of "I'm not really feeling this sarcastic, cynical thing." Really dude because that's kind of my personality. It didn't really register at first because I was a little tipsy when he said it but after sobering up the next morning it pissed me off. In fact the entire phone conversation that night was strange but it's too much to get into here. I'm really hoping he doesn't make strike 3 because aside from the things I mentioned he's actually a decent catch. He's cute, he meets the height requirement, he's in school, working and very focused. I dig.
Friday, March 19, 2010
"I can see you married to a white man...."
The title sentence of this post was uttered by a good friend of mine while we were on vacation. Oddly enough, I had never really thought too much about the possibility of marrying a white guy until she said that. I've dated people from different races so it really doesn't matter but for some reason I never considered it.
Like I mentioned before, this whole thing started while we were on vacation in Miami for a few days and I guess my friend, who I'll call 'M,' noticed a difference in my behavior/communication with black guys vs. white guys. M told me that I'm more talkative and engaging with white guys than with black guys. Apparently with black guys I was looking around, not making as much eye contact and not talking to them as much. I never noticed any type of change in my behavior when talking to guys of different races so I was a little surprised by her comments. There's really no explanation I can think of as to why this happens because I don't prefer one race over the other and I've had both good and bad experiences with both black and white guys.
After doing a little self reflection, I realized that it is much easier for me to talk to white guys. I have no clue why but that's just the way it is, for me at least. At the moment I'm crushing on a black guy and a white guy so I guess I'll have to be a little more observant of my behavior towards each of them to see if there are any real differences. Nothing wrong with a little self analysis every now and again. With that being said, in the words of Big Pun: "I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of that ass."
Happy Dating! :)
Like I mentioned before, this whole thing started while we were on vacation in Miami for a few days and I guess my friend, who I'll call 'M,' noticed a difference in my behavior/communication with black guys vs. white guys. M told me that I'm more talkative and engaging with white guys than with black guys. Apparently with black guys I was looking around, not making as much eye contact and not talking to them as much. I never noticed any type of change in my behavior when talking to guys of different races so I was a little surprised by her comments. There's really no explanation I can think of as to why this happens because I don't prefer one race over the other and I've had both good and bad experiences with both black and white guys.
After doing a little self reflection, I realized that it is much easier for me to talk to white guys. I have no clue why but that's just the way it is, for me at least. At the moment I'm crushing on a black guy and a white guy so I guess I'll have to be a little more observant of my behavior towards each of them to see if there are any real differences. Nothing wrong with a little self analysis every now and again. With that being said, in the words of Big Pun: "I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of that ass."
Happy Dating! :)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
On The Beach
A little something I jotted down after a somewhat romantic interlude during spring break:
Think I fell in love last week
We spent nights walking on the beach
He says so wrong things just like me
He kept me laughing endlessly
My Aussie hubs just for Spring Break
Loving on the beach and staying out late
Sad we had to go our separate ways
I hope we meet again someday
Think I fell in love last week
We spent nights walking on the beach
He says so wrong things just like me
He kept me laughing endlessly
My Aussie hubs just for Spring Break
Loving on the beach and staying out late
Sad we had to go our separate ways
I hope we meet again someday
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