Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Return of Penis Man

Oddly enough I don't think I've ever written on my blog about penis man before. I guess because around the time I started blogging I was pretty obsessed with my Aussie man I met on Spring Break (I actually talk about him in five different posts here, here, here, here, and here. Sad I know...smh). In that case I guess I should give a little back story on penis man and how he got that name.

I met this guy at a local bar that my friends and I always complain about yet still continue to go back there every now and again. It was dark and I had a few adult beverages in my system so I didn't really know what he looked like but he had to be at least somewhat cute or I never would've given him my number. Anyway, we texted a bit then I left to go back to school and we continued texting and talking on the phone for a while. Then came the penis incident. *sigh* Why me?

One morning I woke up to a text from him which was annoying because I was actually sleeping at the time and the phone woke me up so already I'm pissed. Then imagine my shock when I see a picture message of an erect penis, which I assume was his, and a message saying "morning wood for you." Umm, pardon me? Mind you I had only seen this guy in person one time which was the night we met. Everything else was just through the phone. I was so shocked I didn't even know what to do or say so I didn't do anything. I just ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. From then on I referred to him as Penis Man to my friends and in my mind. This was strike 1 by the way.

Fast forward several months later and he's back in the picture. He's actually been pretty persistent about talking to me and trying to hang out so I'll give him that. Unfortunately he's already on strike 2 after only a few weeks of us talking again. He said something along the lines of "I'm not really feeling this sarcastic, cynical thing." Really dude because that's kind of my personality. It didn't really register at first because I was a little tipsy when he said it but after sobering up the next morning it pissed me off. In fact the entire phone conversation that night was strange but it's too much to get into here. I'm really hoping he doesn't make strike 3 because aside from the things I mentioned he's actually a decent catch. He's cute, he meets the height requirement, he's in school, working and very focused. I dig.

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