Did I start some drama?

....and more importantly, do I care?

So here's the deal, I had a huge ridiculous crush on this guy all through high school but he never even looked my way. Since graduating we've seen each other out around town but we never really said anything to each other because we were never friends. He was, however, friends with a good friend of mine. Long story short, we ran into each other at a bar last year and after encouragement from my friend in the form of "Hey, you remember Katrina right?" we ended up talking a bit and exchanging numbers....yay! (or so I thought)

We were talking/texting/facebook chatting back and forth for a while because I left to go back to school. Then when I was home for a weekend I went and hung out with him for a bit. After I came back we still talked pretty regularly for a couple of weeks then nothing, which is as much my fault as it is his because sometimes I just don't care enough to keep in touch with people, especially guys *shrugs*.

Anyway, after some time went by he started talking to me on facebook chat one day and it all went downhill from there. First off, he contacted me through his friend's account who I'm also friends with which I thought was a little weird. To be honest, I didn't believe it was him for several reasons. First is because he asked if we were gonna hang out that night which I found strange because the last time we saw each other was the day before I left for school. He even called me the next night to see if I made it back okay. Then this is how the facebook convo went:

Him: When you get back I'm gonna lick that ass.
Me: Umm, ew.
Him: Let me hit you up when I get on my page, I'm on my boy's account right now.
Me: Probably not because I'm kinda grossed out right now.

Suddenly I see that he is signed on under his own name and I quickly logged off. That was the last I spoke to him. Less than a week later his facebook says that he's now 'In a relationship' with some thick broad. Really? Not 2 seconds ago you were trying to lick my ass and now you're in a relationship?! Ok, I get it. Upon seeing this I decided to click 'Like' on his new relationship status. There were also comments from a few other girls pretty much congratulating him on this new relationship. Then a day or so later there is a comment from the thick broad saying "oh, so you deleted it because of these little comments?" That's when I noticed that his relationship status was no longer listed as in a relationship. He basically just removed the relationship status portion of his profile and the thick broad 'Liked' that he was 'No longer in a relationship.'

The question is, did I cause this drama? Did my one little asshole move bring problems to others? I don't know. Maybe I'm giving myself too much credit here. Maybe it had nothing to do with me at all, it just happened. But the timing is a little convenient for it to just be a coincidence because I didn't 'Like' his status until about 2 days later. I just find it funny that he deleted his status just after I 'Liked' it. Either way, I had a hearty laugh at his expense. The whole thing was quite entertaining.

Birthday Celebration from Hell (or at least somewhere close to it)

This past Wednesday (the 21st) was my birthday but I didn't actually go out to celebrate it until Friday. I was planning and hoping to have so much fun but that ended up not happening. In fact the entire week started going downhill on Monday but I held out hope that it would get better. It was my birthday week so of course I tried to have a positive attitude and be in a good mood but now I'm just annoyed with everything. Here's what happened:

Monday: My friend from back home told me that she wouldn't be able to drive down for this concert on Friday that we both really wanted to go to because she couldn't afford to spend the extra cash with her car payment due the same week....understandable but still, I was disappointed. We haven't seen each other for months so it would've been fun to hang out for the weekend. Moving on...


Tuesday: My other friend tells me that she can't go to the concert because it costs too much. Apparently when I told her the prices the first time around (a couple weeks ago) she didn't remember them being so high. In case you're wondering: Floor seats were $75, Lower level were $55 and Upper level was $30. To me that doesn't seem so bad for the number of acts that were going to be there. Especially when other concerts start in the $100s but ok, sure....whatever. Instead we made plans to just go out clubbing on Friday instead since I didn't have anyone else to go to the concert with.

Wednesday (my actual birthday): I'm a nursing student so I spent 12 hours in clinical. Ordinarily I don't care because I like clinical but having to be at the hospital by 6:30am on my birthday really hurt my soul...ugh. I didn't go out that night because by the time I got home all I wanted to do was sleep. On the up side, I was able to see an X-ray of conjoined twins so that was pretty cool.


Thursday: I texted my two friends (including the non concert goer) to tell them I wanted to go out Friday for my birthday. My one friend was sick and couldn't go out so I can't fault her for that. The other one told me she was planning to go out with her other friend to some 18+ club because her friend's friend isn't 21. Really bitch? Didn't we just make plans to go out? Ugh! Then she asks why I didn't tell her it was my birthday. Why? Because I'm not one of those people who runs around shouting "Hey it's my birthday!" to anyone who will listen, that's why. I didn't say that though, I just told her that's what Facebook is for. It's funny though because she was the only one of the 3 girls I actually hang with out here that didn't realize it was my birthday. Again...whatever. So we decide that the two of us and our other friend J are gonna go out on Friday.

Friday: Complete and utter bullshit ensued for the night...smfh

1. The place I really wanted to go to was dead as a doornail. We walked over, looked inside and the place had all of 10 people inside. Disappointing indeed.

2. The next place on my list that I heard really good things about had a bouncer that was a complete douche. I showed him my driver's license (out of state because I'm in PA but I'm from CT) and he says "That's not you sweetheart." Really asshole? I've been using that government issued ID to go into every spot since I got it
3 years ago but that's not me. Why because my hair is different and I wasn't smiling? Seriously?! I'm 24, what the fuck do I need a fake ID for? I've NEVER used a fake in my life. If I wasn't old enough to get in I just didn't bother going. Admittedly, I know that I look young for my age. I get told on a regular basis that I look anywhere from 16-18 but never my actual age. But still for him to say it's not me, like I'm trying to sneak into his raggedy little club when I wasn't just pissed me off.

3. We end up going to the same place we always go to which was ok because at least we always have fun there. After a while the music started to suck so we went to a few other places. One place I wanted to go to but when we got outside I could tell by the music playing I didn't want to go in. Then we were bombarded by some guys who somehow talked my friends into going inside. I ended up going in and was ready to go instantly. Why we stayed there as long as we did (about 5-10 minutes) I can't for the life of me figure out. Especially since we never even saw the guys who talked my friends into going in in the first place. So annoying.

4. We go to the next place which I also don't like but I figured I'd give it a chance because my friend kept bitching about wanting to go there. The only good thing about this place is the music and the drinks, everything else sucks. It's way too small so with all the people in there you can barely move a muscle. And the worst part is that when we walked in it seemed like every guy in the place was staring us down like we were slabs of meat. It was really disturbing and J and I felt really uncomfortable. Yet we ended up staying there for a little bit....lord why?! In the end we went back to our original spot until the end of the night.

5. How did I end up paying for the entire cab ride on MY birthday? Good question. When one girl only brings a debit card and the other girl only brings $5 it's kind of hard to split the bill. I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would go out and not bring money with them. One thing my mom always told me was to NEVER go anywhere without cash because you never know what could come up and I've always listened to that.

Fun night huh? Happy birthday to me.

Girl Crush

The bold, beautiful, fly, fashionable chicks I'm crushing on. If I were a lesbian or a dude, I'd hit that.

Jada Pinkett-Smith. Half of my favorite Hollywood couple EVER. Jada is a well known actress who's been in way too many movies for me to name. Not to mention she stars on my new favorite nursing show 'Hawthorne' on TBS (which is coming back for a new season soon...yay!). Why am I crushing on Jada? Because she's classy but at the same time you know she won't stand for any bullshit.

Kelly Ripa. Remember when Kelly played Hailey Vaughn on ABC's 'All My Children?' Well I sure do. I don't really remember when she started but I remember loving her character. Then after watching her in the morning on Live with Regis and Kelly I started to love her even more. And don't forget she's married to one of my "He Can Get It" guys, Mark Consuelos. Truth be told, I can take or leave Regis but if Kelly isn't on the show I don't even bother watching. Why am I crushing on Kelly? Because she's awesome and she can laugh at herself which is always a good thing.

Mariska Hargitay. All my Law & Order: SVU fans probably know why I love Mariska. She plays Detective Benson like nobody's business and looks good doing it. And she seems like cool people in real life too. What's not to love? If this thing were in order Mariska would probably be my number one crush but it's cool....you get the idea. Why am I crushing on her? Because she fucking rocks....duh!

Adrienne Bailon. The youngins might only know Adrienne from The Cheetah Girls but I remember her from back in the 3LW days. I really liked that group and I was bummed when they split but hey, shit happens. Apparently Adrienne is working on a new solo album to come out this year and I for one am looking forward to it. Why am I crushing on her? I don't know, I just like her and judging by her Twitter page she seems like a real girl which is rare these days.

Rebecca Herbst. Becky is probably best known for her role as Elizabeth on the ABC soap 'General Hospital' but she's done a bunch of other shows too. Why am I crushing on her? Because she just seems like a cool, down to earth chick with a very natural classic beauty. And she's a good actress. I've loved her character on GH since day 1.

Why can't I just get over it?! UGH!

What the hell is my problem? I mean seriously, why do I ALWAYS do this to myself? No matter what happens I always find a way to end up liking guys way more than I probably should. Then I start obsessing and it turns into this whole big thing that's mostly just in my mind because I always think of all these random scenarios that are never going to happen. Ordinarily my over-liking (pretty sure I just made that up) of a guy wouldn't be a problem but in this case it's turning into an issue....in my head at least.

I'm pretty sure I broke some kind of unspoken relationship rule because I stupidly fell for a guy on vacation. There are four previous posts about this guy which just goes to show how ridiculous I am...smh. Anyway, a little backstory on this guy: I met this hot Australian dude with rock hard abs while I was on spring break in Miami. We hung out, partied, and all that good stuff but then I had to go back to reality while he continued to travel around the US for another few weeks. We were keeping in touch via text until he smashed his phone so now it's been reduced to the occasional Facebook message. We were trying to make plans to meet up once more before he left to go back to Australia but I'm pretty sure that's not happening since I think he's leaving next week (according to Facebook that is).

Isn't part of the fun of being on vacation meeting lots of people you like, having fun with them and maybe exchanging a few numbers and leave it at that? Apparently I didn't get that memo. I couldn't even give anyone else a real chance while I was on break because I was so hooked on this guy. And the fact that I met him on our very first night there didn't help at all because I spent the entire week trying to find ways to hang with him. Also the fact that we're so much a like and have the same sarcastic and borderline mean sense of humor makes it even harder to get over him.

But, slowly but surely I think I really am starting to get over him....finally. It took a good friend of mine to point out the truth that I already knew which is that I met this guy on vacation, he lives all the way in Australia and it was fun while it lasted but it's time to move on. This is nothing new. I knew these things already but somehow it didn't really register for me until my friend said it to me out loud. And she's right, it was cool while it lasted but deep down I knew it would never amount to anything more than a temporary vacation fling. He's a cool dude and I hope we keep in touch in case he ever comes back to the states for a visit or in the off chance that I someday travel to Australia but in the mean time it's time to let that go. It's been real!

"I'm a lot wiser and a little older, hey baby it was nice to know ya. Goodbye T.O.N.Y."

Random....

As the title says this is really random but I'm feeling some type of way right now. I should be studying for my test tomorrow morning but I need to get this off my chest in order to concentrate. Once again my mind is wandering and distracted because of this Aussie dude I met a while back. You know that song T.O.N.Y. by Solange? Well that's pretty much how I'm feeling about this guy right now. Maybe not the entire song word for word but there's a few choice lyrics that definitely hit close to home for me right about now.

"Tony don't call no more
No not at all no more
Maybe there's something wrong with his phone
Or maybe it's morning and the thrill is gone
I'm not sure if I'm still respected
And I'm not in a rush to feel rejected, not by Tony"

The Obedient Wife

A while back a friend of mine on Twitter posted a question about how obedient a wife should be to her husband or something to that effect. I said that I didn't like the idea of obedience in marriage because to me it implies that the woman is subordinate to the husband. I feel like obedience means that she has to listen to him and do what he says, almost like a parent rather than a partner. Then my friend said something about how the Bible says that women are supposed to be obedient to their husbands to some extent or something like that *cough*bullshit*cough*.

After that last comment I just didn't reply because I knew it would probably lead to some type of argument and it wasn't worth it. Needless to say I completely disagree with the idea of a wife (or husband) being obedient to their partner in a marriage. Then the whole Bible aspect just really irked me because I don't believe that the Bible is something that should be taken literally word for word, but that's another issue for another day.

Anyway, like I said before, I think my issue with this is what the word 'obedient' represents to me. Maybe for other people it doesn't seem like such a bad thing but for me it almost seems like lock down. To me obedience sounds like submission, bowing down and being beneath someone which is NOT cool....especially in a relationship. What it basically boils down to is that if I'm in a relationship with someone, there is no reason why I feel I should have to 'obey' them. Last time I checked you weren't my father.

I think I'm ranting. Am I ranting? Anyway whatever, I just can't stand the idea of submissiveness in a romantic relationship. Take that love, honor and 'obey' crap back to the 20's or wherever it came from. Ok fine, keep the love and honor part(you know what I meant).


ps: I really don't like this post but here I am posting it anyway. Ha ha, oh well.

"Do you have any kids?"

Really sir? Since when did that become a pick-up line? I swear it's almost commonplace nowadays for guys to ask me that question. And not just any guys of course. Yep, you guessed it, it's the black guys who always ask that. Apparently every young black female HAS to have a child or multiple children and "baby daddys" out there. It's the new trend in the hood. My friends and I didn't get that memo.

The most annoying thing isn't even the question itself, it's that guys seem genuinely surprised when my friends and I tell them we don't have any children. My black girlfriends of course because I've never heard my white friends be asked that question. It probably happens, but I haven't seen it. Anyway back on topic...why is it a surprise that I don't have children? I just don't get it. And furthermore, why do you feel it's necessary for you to ask me that question within 10 minutes of meeting me? What is going on in the world where it's common and normal for a young unmarried girl to have kids? At this point it's even expected and it shouldn't be.

I think part of the problem is that so many of these young girls are out there trying to get pregnant on purpose to keep some no good man that only wanted them for sex in the first place. You see it all the time with all this 'Pregnancy Pact' nonsense and shows like 16 and Pregnant. Sweetie, have some self respect and while you're at it, some self control. I can't even tell you how many young girls that I grew up with that are my age and younger are turning up pregnant these days. I swear it must be something in the water. Depending on the circumstances getting pregnant at my age (23) isn't a bad thing, it's the young teenage girls that I worry about. But anyway I'm getting off topic again.

Back to the whole "do you have any kids" thing. I really can't stand when a guy asks me that because I think it's stupid to just assume someone has a child for no apparent reason. Do they feel the need to ask that just because I'm a twenty something black girl? I truly do not understand the logic behind this. I don't look around the bar and think "hmm, I bet he/she has a kid at home." I mean really, who does that? Maybe it just boils down to the fact that some people don't actually think before they speak. Who knows? I guess I'm done with my little rant for now. But just for the record, I'm very proud to be a 23 year old, single, African American female who does not have any children and has never been pregnant.

PS: Wear a condom kids!

No homo? Stop the Stupidity

Of all the idiotic, unnecessary slang terms out there I'm pretty sure "no homo" is the worst. I mean seriously, what moron came up with that? Furthermore, why did the aforementioned moron's friends let him believe it was a good idea to actually use that term? I have such an issue with the use of this term because it just doesn't make any sense to me. What's really the point of saying "no homo" before making a statement?

I don't know for sure how the use of "no homo" got started but the first time I remember hearing it was in Lil' Wayne's song Lollipop. From then on it seemed like I was hearing it practically everywhere. The majority of people I hear saying it are African American males *insert my shocked face...NOT*. Apparently some men feel the need to say "no homo" before saying something so that whoever they're talking to doesn't think they're gay or so they won't sound gay. Personally, that's probably one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. I guess it's a guy thing because they feel this need to protect or prove their masculinity all the time. Even when it's not in question.

For me, if a guy feels the need to say "no homo" it only makes me think that he really is on the down low and trying to cover it up. Whereas if he had just said whatever he was going to say with no preface, I probably wouldn't think anything of it. But the fact that you feel the need to put a disclaimer before your statement makes me think there's something else going on. Are you so insecure that you can't make a simple statement without being afraid of what people may think of you? I mean really, dudes can't even compliment each other without it being a big deal. It's always "I'm not gay but...." whenever they compliment each other. Really dude? It's not that serious. Giving someone of the same sex a compliment doesn't mean you're gay and it doesn't mean people are going to think you're gay. Stop being an idiot!

I think it's very different and I guess easier for females. I myself can compliment another female without feeling like people will think I'm a lesbian. I have no problem saying "Oh she's cute" or "Hey, her boobs are awesome." What's the big deal? Just because I can admit that another female is attractive doesn't mean I want to jump her bones. I don't understand why so many males have yet to grasp this concept. I guess it's because most of them have this overwhelming need to constantly prove their masculinity. Apparently in guy world saying another guy is good looking is less than masculine or sounds gay but in my mind it's just the opposite. If a man is secure enough in himself and his masculinity he should have no problem saying anything he wants to say without putting "no homo" in front of it.

That's all for now. DEUCES!!!