White people and the 'N' word...wtf is going on?

A touchy subject that 'N' word isn't it? Once again I've been inspired by the situation of others. This all started with a Facebook status which just convinced me even more that Facebook can and will get you into trouble eventually. Anyway, on to the point of this post.

A white girl, who I'll call 'S', posted a rap lyric on her FB status using the N word (the 'a' version not the 'er' version). Just as a little background, this isn't the first time she's used n***a in a status of hers but I'm not entirely sure if they've been song lyrics in the past. Also her kid is half black so I'm pretty sure she's not racist. Anyway, back on topic....after she made this comment my friend, who I'll call 'L', commented on her status saying something to the effect of 'do you really need to use the N word?' From that point it got a little heated because S got all pissy and started throwing attitude and L threw it right back, etc. You know how that whole thing goes. Then another white girl, M, commented that she thought it was okay as long as it ends in 'a' and not 'er.' *sigh* And that's why I'm writing this.

To all my white friends out there it is NOT okay to use the N word ever for any reason. I don't care how "down" you think you are or if you think you have a so called "hood pass" or if you grew up around Black people your entire life. It's just not cool. Period. I don't even like when Black people use the word too much. People are just way too comfortable throwing it around these days and I just don't get it. Hell even Hispanics use is sometimes (for examples, see Fat Joe and other Latino rappers). That whole 'we took the word and turned into something positive' BS excuse that Black people try to use is just that...bullshit. How the hell do you turn a derogatory term into something positive? Is that even possible? Just another lame ass excuse if you ask me.

And before anyone asks, yes I have used the 'a' version of the word in the past and probably will again in the future. Is it right just because I'm Black? No. Is it okay because I'm Black? Maybe. At the very least it's less wrong, if that makes sense. In any case, I'm working on not using the N word at all which is completely doable. Sometimes it's the first word I think of but it's really not that hard to stop and think for a second before you actually say something out loud. I think the worst part is that I know better yet I've still used it but I'm trying. What can I say, I'm still a work in progress.

A rant....

These are some thoughts that I typed on my iTouch a few weeks ago when I was on Spring Break in Miami. I couldn't really talk about it to my friends so I decided then and there to start keeping something of a journal and this is what was produced over the course of about 2 days.

Part 1:
I feel stupid about this guy. Like I'm being annoying or just looking really thirsty when I don't think I am. I just think he's a nice, cute guy that I want to hang with while I'm here. What's wrong with that? I hate not knowing what's going on with dudes. So annoying. I expected way too much and now I'm disappointed with the outcome. And I can't even make contact again today so I'm just done for the moment. I don't want to play myself any harder than I already have.

Part 2:
Still trying really hard not to feel stupid but I do. I thought this guy liked me and maybe he really does but he hasn't tried to contact me at all. Now I'm wondering if I just fell for the game yet again or if I'm making something out of nothing like I always do. I think my instincts about guys intentions are usually pretty accurate but right now I'm not sure. I really don't want him to be just another well disguised jerk but that's what I'm afraid is happening. But then I usually tend to think of the worst possible scenario in every situation so who knows.

Part 3:
7pm and still watching my phone. Kinda pathetic isn't it? Ugh, I just don't know anymore and I'm pretty bummed about the whole thing at this point. That's the problem when you're the kind of girl who falls too hard too fast ALL the time. I wish I could control when and how I fall but I guess you're not supposed to.

Part 4 (the next day):
So it turns out his phone died so that's why he didn't text me back. For that I can't really be mad at him. On the negative side he kind of blew me off for our dinner plans. First he asked me if I wanted to meet up for dinner around 7. Then around 6:20 he says he just got in the bathroom so it's gonna be awhile. Ok, fine. Then I don't hear from him for a while so I text and say 'hey, what's up with dinner?' He says he already had dinner and he thought I was gonna have dinner with my friends. Really dude? WTF?! At this point I'm pissed but it's my vacation so I'm not gonna let it get me down.

Him

A random burst of inspiration in the middle of the night (12:45am to be exact) produced the following:

Trying to forget about him
Always him, only him
He is everywhere
I can barely go a day without him
Constantly thinking of him
Why can't I forget about him
I say I want to but I don't
I can't forget him
I want to remember
Sometimes it scares me I can't forget him
Don't want to forget him
I have to move on
I need to move on
It's too hard to get my mind away from him
My heart doesn't help
It's too much for me
I have to stop
I need to stop
One day I'll move on from him
But for now I can't let him go

He can get it....

Here's a few guys, in no particular order, that I wouldn't mind giving the business to if the opportunity ever presented itself. It would probably never happen but hey, a girl can dream.



Jesse Williams. A man who I have decided to rename 'Fineness' is currently an actor on Grey's Anatomy. He was also in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 but I first saw him on Grey's. I don't even watch Grey's Anatomy but the tv was on it one night and I saw a glimpse of his beautiful face and light eyes and I fell in love. One thing I know about Jesse is that he graduated from my current school, Temple University. I'm a little disappointed that I was never lucky enough to see him walking around campus but that's ok. There isn't much info about him online but he's hot so who cares. Just look at the pretty pictures :).




Robin Thicke. Sex therapy? Yes, please. What can I say about Robin Thicke? Hmm...well I'm pretty sure his voice makes women around the world melt. I for one was surprised to find out that Robin's father is the dad from Growing Pains, not that it really matters. Anyway, I first remember seeing Robin riding a bike in his video for When I Get You Alone but I didn't pay much attention back then. The long hair didn't really do it for me. Then years later my friend put me on to the Lost Without You song/video and ever since then I was hooked. How can you not love this man?




Colin Farrell. Although smoking is my #1 turn off in a guy, I would be willing to make an exception with Colin (at least for a night). He's such a bad boy and I love it. The swearing, the smoking, the drinking, he's the kind of guy your mother warned you about and thank God you didn't listen. Definitely wouldn't mind seeing what's on the other side of his rainbow. (If you get my drift)





Boris Kodjoe. Is there really any explanation necessary? I didn't think so. The man is just all kinds of sexy.












Ian Somerhalder. A lot of people probably know Ian from Lost, but I never watched that show so I know him as bad boy Damon from Vampire Diaries. I'll be the first to admit that I could really care less about the whole vampire craze that's going on right now but this guy makes me want to get to know the undead.




And now an oldie but goody, John Stamos. Most people probably know him as Uncle Jesse from Full House or that doctor from ER. This man is the prime example of 'better with age.' I don't know what it is about John Stamos but he truly gets hotter as the years go by. It's crazy but I love it!








Mark Consuelos. One half of one of my favorite celebrity couples. He happens to be married to one of my many girl crushes, Kelly Ripa, but that's another post for another day. Mark played Mateo Santos on the ABC soap All My Children for several years, which is where he met his wife (and my girl crush) Kelly. What else can I say, the man is just gorgeous. Who wouldn't want a piece of that?
Fun Fact: Mark is half Italian and half Mexican



Anderson Cooper. I know what some of you may be thinking: 'What the hell is this pale, silver haired news guy doing in the same list as all these hotties?' I admit that at first I didn't really see the appeal of Anderson but as time has passed I've realized what a hottie he really is. For those of you living under a rock, Anderson is a CNN news anchor and has his own show on the network called AC 360. On occasion he also guest co-hosts on Live with Regis and Kelly which is where I first learned of his hotness. On top of being a 'silver fox' AC is also smart, informed, funny and he actually cares about people. He even saved a kid's life in Haiti. What's hotter than a guy who saves little kids? Not much if you ask me.




Joshua Jackson. He's come a long way from being sidekick Pacey on Dawson's Creek (ps: Pacey and Joey were the shit, Dawson can kick rocks). I first remember seeing Josh on Dawson's Creek and too be honest, I didn't see anything too special about him at the time. Then I happened to be watching a Mighty Ducks marathon on tv and I was like 'hey, that's Pacey!' He was so adorable playing Charlie in the duck movies. He's currently on the show Fringe but I don't watch it so I have no idea when or what channel it comes on, check your local listings and all that.



Greg Vaughan. American tv actor from Charmed, 90210, and General Hospital. I know Greg from playing Lucky on General Hospital for however many years until recently. Not much to say about Greg except that he's hot and a family man which makes him even hotter. Anyone who follows him on twitter knows what I'm talking about.


That's all for now.

"I can see you married to a white man...."

The title sentence of this post was uttered by a good friend of mine while we were on vacation. Oddly enough, I had never really thought too much about the possibility of marrying a white guy until she said that. I've dated people from different races so it really doesn't matter but for some reason I never considered it.

Like I mentioned before, this whole thing started while we were on vacation in Miami for a few days and I guess my friend, who I'll call 'M,' noticed a difference in my behavior/communication with black guys vs. white guys. M told me that I'm more talkative and engaging with white guys than with black guys. Apparently with black guys I was looking around, not making as much eye contact and not talking to them as much. I never noticed any type of change in my behavior when talking to guys of different races so I was a little surprised by her comments. There's really no explanation I can think of as to why this happens because I don't prefer one race over the other and I've had both good and bad experiences with both black and white guys.

After doing a little self reflection, I realized that it is much easier for me to talk to white guys. I have no clue why but that's just the way it is, for me at least. At the moment I'm crushing on a black guy and a white guy so I guess I'll have to be a little more observant of my behavior towards each of them to see if there are any real differences. Nothing wrong with a little self analysis every now and again. With that being said, in the words of Big Pun: "I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of that ass."

Happy Dating! :)

On The Beach

A little something I jotted down after a somewhat romantic interlude during spring break:

Think I fell in love last week
We spent nights walking on the beach
He says so wrong things just like me
He kept me laughing endlessly
My Aussie hubs just for Spring Break
Loving on the beach and staying out late
Sad we had to go our separate ways
I hope we meet again someday

My First Post!!!

Hello all, as the title says this is my very first blog post and to be honest I have no idea what I'm doing. I was just bored so I decided 'what the hell, I'll start a blog.' I guess the idea came about because I realized a have a lot of random thoughts and opinions about things in my mind but no place to really express them. I started keeping a semi-journal for my most personal and somewhat erratic and unorganized thoughts. I think this blog will be a place to share my opinions about things that I wouldn't generally talk to people about in person. I'm actually a pretty quiet person so there's usually a ton of things that I want to say but rarely do so I guess this is my forum. That's all for now. DEUCES!!!